Friday Nights Are For Blogging Bugs and More!

So, a few weeks ago I was faced with something pretty awful in my kitchen, as I was cleaning up after dinner I noticed tiny white almost invisible bugs running around on top of my counter with a struggling, twitching roach on her back half eaten by I guess, could it be, her very own young... 

Yes, I start sweating on the outside and crying a little inside because I'd hate to be eaten by my young. 
I spent about 5 minutes thinking about what to do for the mother, kill her or help her. Even though I do NOT like to make friends with bugs that are listed under, "BUGS STRAIGHT FROM HELL" I figured she was already dying, end her suffering and hope it doesn't make me too sick to take life... 

See one thing about roaches people don't understand is they do care very well for their young despite how vial and disgusting. "squirms" 

As I took her life I prayed that maybe in her next life she will be a butterfly. I haven't seen any more bugs in the house thank goodness and I am calling the bug guy to come visit again tomorrow, just in case. 

We have some VERY weird bugs here in the southern united states and the south kind of reminds me of the FIRE SWAMP from the film Princess Bride.  We have BUGS of unusual size instead of Rodents of unusual size.

In fact I remember the day I learned just how evil bugs could be.

I was about 7 years old, I was born and raised where the west is the best in the east, it's beautiful there. 
We had just moved into new house and my Daddy went to check the attic space for extra storage space.
I remember watching Dad get a little nervous as he cracked open the attic door on the hallway ceiling only to find a rush of what seemed like an army of thousands of very very very large flying palmetto bugs that came at us... Let's just say we moved out that night and never went back... Screaming, Mouth open, bugs flying and flapping everywhere... Yee, you can imagine that right??!!
                                            
                                            >> Fear of something like this happening to us >>  

                                                   BUGS THE SIZE OF RATS!!!! WTF?!?! ....

I also have good memories of nice bugs who live here in the southeast too, more of the nymph type though.

When I lived in the North Georgia Mountains, North West of Atlanta I had these nymphs with pink and yellow wings living in my gardens.  

                                                               Dryocampa rubicunda

We also had nymphs with virgin white wings and fuzzy bodies and they seemed to be sweet in nature too.

                                                          Isn't she precious, we made friends. 

Another flying bug I have encountered is the Unicorn of Nymphs, The Lunar Moth. I was on the road and stopped at a 7-11 to call my sister at a payphone to let her know I was in town and that I was coming to her place for the night cause I was tired and needed to be close to home for the night after being on the road with my band for weeks eating carrots. The sun was setting, it was spring and  I noticed gliding in the breeze towards me was a very large and luminous lunar moth that made a landing for my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. Sometimes I wonder if it was God himself or maybe just Mother Nature just watching over me. He looked something like this. 

                                                                          "Lunar Moth"

I know I usually blog about books, and music and bugs might seem gross to some, but I love them, they're so cute, and I'm not talking about those bugs directly sent straight from hell either.  Maybe I should write a book about bugs, who knows, maybe one day.

Make friends with Book Bloggers and get exposure

Before You Begin: All Links Are In Green - Just Click

I think when Amanda Hocking tapped into the book blogger pile she hit her Valhalla! In her own words "Something Magical Happened." That was how Amanda Hocking descried the impact book bloggers had on sales of her self-published books.

Amanda published her first nine books between March through August of 2010. She had no idea what to expect, and like most of us waited with baited breath. Over that period of time she had Kindle sales of around 500 E-Books. Though that wasn't enough to make her give up her day job, she was persistent.

Between working and writing she tapped into the world of book bloggers and her sales took a huge spike upward. By the end of 2010 her book sales tallied 164,000.

Amanda stated in her blogs she had no idea those kind of people existed; people who just read books
and write about them taking time out of their busy lives to talk about books, have contests
and connect with followers and writers and other readers. They became her heros.

Bloggers reach millions of readers 

Book bloggers love to read books and will mostly recommend them to their own followers. There are a plethora of avid bloggers in every book genre out there reviewing thousands of books and interviewing hundreds of authors every year. Book bloggers are a very diverse crowd: some have day jobs in the book business, many more are stay-at-home moms and dads and students.

Two of the most increasingly influential book blogs are Fantasy Cafe and Write Meg. (These two do not currently review self published authors as far as I know, but that may have changed), but they have contributed to them greatly. Why? Because they collectively build markets that can reach millions of potential readers and can turn books into bestsellers. They are serious and discerning critics and social networkers. They have formed regional and national organizations and established huge databases, including this searchable Book Blogs Search Engine which includes a list of more than 1,400 bloggers where you WILL find bloggers to review your book.

Marketing yourself to book bloggers is not for everyone. It takes time and energy you might prefer to spend writing, or cultivating other gardens. But it’s definitely one of the most powerful new ways to get your work in the hands of readers available today. Don't hesitate if someone offers you the chance to join a book blog tour - especially if it's in your genre. They can prove profitable in getting your book out there as well as your name.

Mainstream publishers take note

Samantha Rubenstein, a publicist at John Wiley & Sons says, "We think book bloggers are the absolute best way to get your book to exactly the right people who are interested in your topic, whatever it is. Reaching out to specific book bloggers is a large and important part of a book’s publicity and increasing by leaps and bounds every six months.”

The publishing industry has welcomed the bloggers into the fold, including them in the annual Book Expo in New York, coming up in May 2012. The Book Bloggers Convention, which will follow the official Book Expo, will feature face time with authors and panels on topics like blogging for niche markets and technology for bloggers.

Below is how to get started with book bloggers

Research

Search The Book Blogs Search Engine to find bloggers in your field. Study their sites, see whom they recommend, read their review policies and link with them for further networking.

Join the community

Remember: don’t hard sell but rather enter into a relationship, a conversation with many participants. Follow the discussion, offer your point of view.

Submit your book

Once you’ve established some kind of relationship, prepare to submit your own book for possible review. Bloggers will indicate in their review policies whether they prefer to receive books electronically or in print. Send a query first, giving a quick summary of your book, because you don’t just want to send people free copies if they’re not seriously interested.

Offer an interview

This gives the author a better chance to describe the book’s contents than a review, which is often unpredictable in quality or point of view.

Be patient

Don’t expect to see a spike in sales right after a review or interview appears on a blog. Just remember though: this is where people go to get information. It puts the author in front of readers who are most likely to be interested in their book.”

Cultivate those contacts

As in any form of publicity, the ongoing back and forth between authors and bloggers is crucial. Unlike traditional broadcast or print media however, you can’t call anyone on the phone. Bloggers work at home, so use email to stay in touch.

Above all be persistent


 I've just recently put this plan to work and so far so good. I've met and talked to some really nice book bloggers. They are there to help you, take advantage of if,  but don't be pushy. And if you're turned down just move on. There are many reviewers out there who are compatible with you.

Any thoughts about all this way of promoting? If your book has been reviewed by a book blogger, please tell us here in comments about the experience. Any advice for fellow writers will be much appreciated.

Spread Love Not Hate - Blog Hop - Adult Bullying and Social Network Cliques.

Today we are spreading the word about Love not Hate here on our blogs. A few weeks ago I posted here on my blog about Social Network Cliques and some ideas on how to deal with those kinds of people online. I'm repeating the URL of it today in honor of Spread Love Not Hate Day. The post is called Social Network Cliques and the URL is as follows :

http://khloekamalis.blogspot.com/2012/01/social-network-cliques.html

The second post touches on Cyber Bullying not only among teens but adults. It's called Adult Bullying and Cyber Bullying. The URL is as follows:

http://khloekamalis.blogspot.com/2011/12/adult-bullying-and-cyber-bullying.html

I hope these posts help. Remember if you are the victim of either one of these issues don't ignore it. Don't be afraid. Put a stop to it - report the bullies - report those who try to intimidate you. I've been a victim of both and I know from personal experience it's not a fun thing to go through. Just before posting this I read on Facebook how one woman got angry with her partner and deleted their whole website because the partner had more business then she did. The business? A Blog Tour business. There was no need for that. If you have a temper, go somewhere and cool off. There's no need to harass and harm others.

Below are other bloggers who have joined K.C. Neal and the bloggers of this blog hop today. Check out their blogs also to see what they have to say about spreading Love Not Hate. Haters are not always our motivators people, haters have caused many a misfortune in others lives, even suicide. Think twice before you bite.

Remember Spread <3 Not Hate!

Much Love and have a wonderful day. Thank you for reading. xoxo

 

Social Network Cliques

The jocks. The nerds. The popular girls. Everyone who has ever attended school knows about cliques—social groups that are so often a source of angst and conflict in the lives of children and adolescents. But guess what. When all is said and done, and high school is over, we all still have to deal with cliques. Personally, I think it's ridiculous. I'm in a few closed groups in social networks online, and it's interesting to me to see how different they can be from one another. I'm in them because I choose to be, and I am online friends with many in the groups. But, a couple of the groups are very clique like. Recently two members of a group emailed me regarding certain aspects of those groups, and how hurt they were, or how bothered they were by things being said or leaked to them. My advice was to either leave the group or don't interact with the group because they feel pressured to but to merely interact when they feel they have something to say. Then I started researchig cliques, because like them, I've had different experiences also. Thus, I decided to post this blog about cliques. I hope it helps some of you to understand more about our reactions and interactions with others in the social network groups we mingle with on the internet and how we may appear to others.

A clique is tight knit group that often revolves around people who participate in similar activities. Instead of creating lasting friendships, sometimes people involved in cliques seem to only care about themselves and the things they are interested in. They may also exclude people outside of their group. Members of a clique may be more concerned about their social standing within the group rather than making other friends. This happens a lot in the social networks of the internet such as MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Goodreads, etc.

If you've ever had to deal with social network cliques, you already know that it can be mildly annoying to really frustrating, and sometimes very hurtful. Learning ways to cope with cliques will help you realize that you don't need approval from a group to feel good about yourself.

Adults may see a clique as a way to make friends and become popular. For someone who may not be very outgoing on their own in real life situations, social network online cliques may help make it easier to socialize. Social netowrk cliques may be tightly controlled by a leader (or a few leaders) and their close allies just like the school cliques were. Those in control typically have the ability to decide who is cool and who's not, and what behavior is acceptable and what is not. This can feel uncomfortable for those who are left out yet know about the secret group.

Many social network cliques are usually closed to people outside of the group. Clubs are different because they are open to people who share common interests. In cliques there is often a lot of pressure to act the same as the other members. In clubs, people tend to share ideas, and respect the opinions of others. Been there, done that. And I ususally feel left out because I know if I reveal my true opinion I will get either the silent treatment or talked about behind my back.

Speaking of talking behind someone's back. Know also that in every clique there is a so called 'big mouth'. That's the one who, when you open your email, message box or your private messages or direct messages tells you what has been said about you, or what the group said in another secret clique group that is secret to you. How lame is that? Personally I don't care to know, but then people can't seem to keep their mouths closed (or in the case of the social networks, their fingers off the keyboard to spread gossip in hopes to make themselves look appealing.) Group dynamics can lead to what is known in psychology as a "risky shift."

It may feel good to be approached by someone who is in a private social network group. You're not alone most people want to feel accepted, particularly in new social situations, but don't fall for what appears to be a quick way to go from being unnoticed to being cool and popular. Realize that you are interesting and unique just as you are.

Know who you are and don't let others change you - Think about your values and what you believe in, and look for friends you can relate to based on similar interests. NEVER feel pressured to be someone else or act a certain way to get the approval of your peers. The excitement of feeling liked by members of a clique will wear off quickly if you find out that they want you to do things or act in a certain way that's just not you.

Respect yourself - It may sound corny, but we all need to "like" ourselves and feel comfortable in our own skin. Most people get a yucky feeling when they feel pressured into behaving in a way that they normally wouldn't act.

Give yourself a chance to meet different kinds of people - Having diverse friendships and interests makes life much more interesting. By joining an online clique, you might limit yourself to the beliefs and activities of only one group. Learning about different people, their cultures, ethnicity, values, and beliefs is also a way of figuring out what you value. In other words, you shouldn't be influenced or limited by just one group of people, as is often the case with cliques.

Have your own opinion - It's fine to agree with others and share the same opinions, but if you feel strongly about something hold your ground even if it goes against the beliefs of the group, especially when it comes to bashing. One can have an opinion of someone or their abilities without bashing another person. Also, if a friend has a different opinion about something such as the type of music he/she likes or something else they think is cool, respect their opinion too.

Don't be afraid to speak up - You may find out that your social network group of friends has changed into a "clique". Don't be afraid to speak up if you notice that your social network friends are mean to others outside of your group, or if they exclude them from social events. If this happens, you may decide to make new friends or just limit your time with the group..

Last of all, If you realize that you are feeling controlled by other people (in your social network clique(s)), then it's probably time to move on. Find another group or just participate more in open groups. More often than not, you can get out of a social network clique just by spending less and less time with the group when you're online. Sometimes though, it may take courage to stand up for what you believe in, and tell people you don't like what they're saying, and you don't want to hang out with them anymore. The bottom-line is you should only spend time with people that genuinely care about you and allow you to be your own person.

I hope this information helped with regard to social network cliques. Good luck to everyone and remember have fun while you're online and there's no need to feel pressured. We get enough pressure from our real life situations sometimes. We certainly don't need it online.
        

Adult Bullying And Cyber Bullying

I know it's the holiday season, and you probably don't wish to read about negative things like bullying. But, it needs to be addressed. Everyday I read about things that have happened to the recipients of a bully. People, just know this--bullies have no holidays. They act regardless of what day, hour, month or holiday it is. I've been on the receiving side of a bully a few times. Luckily the first two times I walked away. The third time put me in the hospital. I was a adult, and the bullying came from an ex-fiance. I can only imagine how it affects the 92% of younger kids, and teens who are affected by it, besides the other adults and older teens. Not a pretty picture.If you know someone who is being bullied, copy this information and pass it on. Thank you.

You know what? All the Lady Gaga's in the world can go to Washington (and it's good she did)  to protest about bullying, but it's really up to us as individuals to do something about it. And another thing, it's not just little kids, but adults and older teens who are bullied and harassed. Here's some facts about the different kinds of bullying that goes on, and a little information on what do do about it and where to go. I hope this helps a little in the fight to stop this horrible act of violence. People are killing, and maiming themselves because of it (yes, even adults and older teens often become cutters, harming themselves because they blame themselves for the bullying against them by others.)

Often people have the idea that "bullying" is something which only occurs among children until eventually they grow out of the behavior. Unfortunately, this isn't always true. Adults can be just as capable of employing bullying tactics as any young child or teenager. If you suspect either yourself, or anyone else you know is on the receiving end of bullying from an adult, here are some suggestions on how to respond to them.

1. Remember this is not your fault. If you've been on the receiving End of bullying treatment from an adult, or another teen for some time it's possible you may be blaming yourself for how this person has reacted to you. However, this is not true. Everyone is responsible for how they choose to treat others. This can be a lot easier said than done. Particularly if the bully has aroused strong feelings of anger in you. However, a reaction such as anger will only prove to the bully that he/she has succeeded in getting to you - which is what they want. Bullies feed off negative emotions, because deep down in some way they feel inferior or insecure about themselves too, and it's only by making others feel bad that they can raise their self esteem. So remember, don't get angry. Reacting to a bully in anger is likely to only further encourage and possibly worsen their unwanted behavior towards you. The adult and older teen bully is a nothing more than a coward.

2. See if killing them with kindness helps. This doesn't always work. But, in circumstances when you haven't known the bully very long (for example, you've just been introduced to them at work, or school/college)it might. Often what inspires a bully to be nasty towards others is an assumption that their target is a threat towards them in some way, as well as an experience of a lack of kindness from others throughout their lives. By demonstrating that you don't intend harm towards them, and are willing to be friendly, this can encourage more positive responses from them. You might express anything from a friendly good morning 'hello' to an offer of help them with something. However, if after trying this 2-3 times they still continue with their negative behavior just stop this approach. It won't work on every bully, and being nice to them every time they choose to bully you is likely to send the message you are rewarding their behavior and finding it acceptable.

3. Try assertive responses against the bully. Examples of this could include assertive body language (looking the bully firmly in the eye while standing straight), an assertive tone of voice (clear and firm without sounding threatening). Try using an assertive choice of words such as "I've recently noticed signs that you're are trying to bully me, and want this behavior to stop." That said, choosing an appropriate assertive behavior will - to a certain extent - be dependent on the specific bullying situation. What might be effective in a work bullying situation might not work so well in a family or cyber bullying situation though.

4. If all else fails, then you must enlist somebody's help. This
might be a trusted colleague or supervisor (if it's a work
bullying situation) or a family relative or friend (if it's a
family bullying situation. If it's a high school or college
situation you should go straight to the principal or the dean of
the college to address the bullying. Finally, speaking to your
doctor is also an option, if you feel the situation is heavily
impacting your physical and/or mental health.

5. If you are being bullied regularly in a physical way. There is no option. Call the police. Make a report and don't hesitate to do this. If you must bring charges the do so. If it's a spouse,
boyfriend/girlfriend, acquaintance, worker at your job, or just
someone you know--and they get physical. Don't hesitate. It's your life the bully is playing with.

TIPS:

Before attempting these steps do some research on bullying. It's not always easy to tell the difference between what is bullying, and what might just be the result of somebody's temporary bad mood. This will also help give you valuable insight into reasons adult bullies decide to behave in this manner and various ways of handling them. Bully articles online and Wikipedia to begin with. These are good places.

Confide in someone you are close to. Whether it be a family member, partner, or close friend; don't be ashamed to tell them about what's going on. After all, close friends, family members and partners are there to support one another through tough times.

Consider counseling. Chances are you are experiencing strong negative feelings such as shame, anger, anxiety and depression as a result of the bullying. Counseling can be invaluable in helping to deal with these feelings

Try out some relaxation techniques. You might find this helps for managing stressful feelings throughout this time. Check out the related wikiHow category online.

WARNING:

Assertive behavior on your part can be very effective if used in the early stages of bullying. However, if the bullying has already been going on for a long time, it might not have the desired effects.
Sometimes the only thing to do in a bullying situation is to walk away.

A bullies range from someone you can easily avoid, to an organized criminal, or someone with a great deal of political power, or anyone who thinks they have it in for you for some reason. You may not be able to walk away, and may be forced to make an attempt to protect yourself from the person. Always ask yourself if there is a way to outflank the bully; that is, without confronting them head-on. Is there a way you can force them to back off by applying pressure elsewhere? Keep in mind possible adverse consequences down the road. For example, you may use alternative methods to get your adversary to back off, But, the consequence is that you have now made a permanent enemy out of a simple bully, with the possibility that they will up the ante when it comes time to serve out a cold dish of revenge. When dealing with such a person, who has some power over you, caution is the key. Sometimes you may have no choice but to appear to go along with their demands, as you build strength, connections, power, etc. in anticipation of being able to turn the tables on them. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

CYBER BULLYING

1. If you started out as friends, read through all the messages you
have sent them to see how it turned mean between you. Maybe you
have become unfriendly to them without knowing it. There may still
be a chance to sort it out. Reply to ask them if they still want
to be friends, and ask them to talk it out with you.

2. If they are not your friend, do not reply! Don't give them
attention for being ugly. Just ignore them

3. If they still continue, tell one of your friends, or even a
trusted fellow co-worker. If you're in college tell the dean or
the head of the computer department. This will give you an outside
perspective to support you.

4. If you can block the bully, then do it fast.

5. Don't delete the messages. Because if this continues, you will
need proof to prove you are being cyber bullied. If they keep
sending you messages, check whether they are using the same
internet company. Phone the company up asking if they could give
them a warning.

6. If all that fails, change your email address and/or cell phone
number

7. Tell the cops. Or if you're an older teen, tell a parent.

8. Report the bully to their website.


TIPS FOR CYBER-BULLYING.

Don't give them a reaction. That will only add fuel to a fire.

Don't reply to any emails/instant messenger or chat room conversations from a bully/harasser.

Be very careful of who you post your pictures, files, messages and Attachments to. Anyone can see them and you never know where they can land, and fall into the wrong hands (At work, your boss and IT staff can monitor and see everything.)

Don't assume a picture of someone is real. Remember that some pictures can be FAKE. For example: A picture of a pretty blonde 17 year old girl could really be a man in his 40s, 50s, 60s, etc.

Remember that some people do lie - for example: someone telling you that he/she is your friend, or potential boyfriend/girlfriend could really be a pervert or abuser. Be very careful who you trust, you never know these days who is honest and who is a liar. So be on your GUARD.

If you get any emails/instant messenger or chat room conversations from a bully/harasser, save them and print them off which can be used as evidence, and show these to your parents (if you are an older teen)and to the police.

Remember that bullying and harassment in this way IS A CRIME! You can always copy and paste an email/instant messenger or chat room conversation from a bully/harasser
onto a Word Document. If you can't do this on the chat room you're visiting, don't go there again.

Always tell someone trustworthy. They can guide and support you. If you have doubts about what they tell you, try someone else. Make sure you have tried everything you can before changing your email. Be very careful who you give your email address,
personal/private information to. NEVER give out personal/private information like your home address, telephone number, date of birth, name of school/work/ college/university, anything about family business and any sensitive/confidential information or/and any information that can trace you and your family to anyone without permission from your parents/guardians/teacher/boss/person in charge if you are an older teen. Always think how something might be used against you before
you talk to anyone you don't know.

If a bully/harasser bothers you on social networking sites, be it MSN, Instant Messenger, Bebo, Facebook, don't reply and go offline (if they persist, block them).

Remember that YOU are in control, don't let them win. Report them to the site administrator, copy and print their harassment and block them.

With all that said. How do you think bullying can be stopped or at least handled? It needs to stop.

How Big Are Angel Wings and How Deep Is My Love? ♥

I'm not trying to lecture y'all on love buuuuut...LOL! Here goes.

Sifting through the devils lies, and what the good book says, I wonder just how big are angel wings? I ask myself this sometimes, when I look up toward Heaven and see the cerulean and azure hues behind the luminous orb of the sun. I watch and wonder as soft, billowy clouds float softly in the light of day gently taking on the appearance of those celestial wings on occasion. I wonder if I could reach for those wings, even though I'm only five foot four inches?

Taking care of my wonderful mother, who has been sick for some time, and is bound to a wheel chair now has caused me to realize that my being here eases her suffering. And hey, I can handle that! Because Love comes first. It hurts when some people I've met, friends, or even family become so snarky about my mother being in that wheel chair. And that hurts me more then anything. In my opinion, if someone can’t handle another person’s most deepest trials and tribulations, then that is not a friend, and most certainly not a loved one. I know, I know, you are probably wondering what do I mean by love… well… here I will break it down for you. I’m happy to do so! It’s my pleasure!

There's a miracle called friendship that dwells in the heart, you don't know how it happens, or when it gets started, but you know the special lift it always brings when you see those you call friends. And maybe you realize that friendship is one of the most precious gift’s life gives us. As for myself, the only way to be a friend is just to be one. There is no such thing as try, there is only do. You wouldn’t try and pick up a pencil would you? No, you would just do it.

Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. My Grandfather, Robert, when he was still alive, taught me that there are only three kinds of people in our lives. 1.) The every day people. You know, like the people you buy your gas for your car from, or your groceries, they are the ones who are randomly in and out of your life. 2.) The Poison People, these are people who are vultures and empty saviors. And whether you see it or not, eventually they wear you down by constant negative actions etc. etc. 3.) These are the most important of all. People who nurture you. Usually you can only count on one hand all the people who truly nurture you. I know I don't have more than a hand full. These are the people that make you smile, and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to you. To me, that is the essence of Love.

There is a book I recommend to everyone I meet. It’s called 'The Path To Love', by Deepak Chopra. This book saved me time after time. Deepak Chopra taught me how to love myself, and love others again. And if I have to preach Love and Peace until I’m blue in the face to help this world and other people like Deepak Chopra, The Dali Lama, and so many others who are preaching love in an attempt bring this world together, or even save one life, I will. Why? Because Love comes first. See it’s all very simple, some people want to make Love out to be something it isn’t. They use the word in a dirty way like it's a common trash bag. lol.

I agree and respect that everyone has different definitions of love, sacrifice, etc. But, I feel like a lot of people spend too much time defining and talking about what these definitions are, instead of just grasping the concept love itself and just showing love and giving it from our hearts. So what if we have expectations and "conditions"? We are all humans, we're not perfect, it's only in an ideal world that we have "unconditional" love. In the strictest sense of the word, even parental love is conditional. But is such love a "lesser" kind of love? Is doing 100 loving and giving acts that are "conditional" less than 1 act of "unconditional" love? Just because someone doesn't love you the way you have defined love, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Will you reject love (from others or even yourself) if it doesn't match up to your definition? Or will you just accept love for what it is, simple and from the heart. Not something pondered or for what ever your perception of the emotion means. And yes, love is an emotion.

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said to my mom: "Baby, I love burned toast." Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned.

He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Maria, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. Heh, Lord knows I'm not the best housekeeper, and I've been known to burn toast too! What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults -and choosing to celebrate each others differences are two of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship, with others.

All be it with friendship, family, co workers, neighbors, etcetera,

I've had to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of my life and lay them at the feet of my maker. Because, in my opinion,in the end, the supreme being is the only one who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!

Understanding is the base of any relationship, like I said be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! I had to go half way around the block and back in life to learn a very important lesson.

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket, but into your own." My parents taught me about what real love is. They also taught me about Unconditional Love and True Love.

Unconditional Love~

Giving unconditional love requires you to love without any expectations. It seems difficult to only love and not demand anything in return in today’s world where so many are selfish and egotistic. But even in this world we see many examples of unconditional love, for example the love a mother gives to her child, the love between two life partners, and the love bestowed upon siblings. Even love given to the fallen stranger by lending a helping hand. To love unconditionally you will have to learn to sacrifice your self, your desires, and most importantly your ego. Let’s find out how to love unconditionally and give happiness to a person without demanding anything in return.

First of all you have to remember that you are not supposed to expect anything from the person you love. It’s true that love makes its way itself. When you love somebody with so much passion and ardor, it’s sure to come round in one way or another. But if somehow you don’t get as much as you give, don’t complain or argue. Always keep in mind that loving others and giving them everything you have will make you satisfied and happy with yourself.

You need to develop a strong will power to be able to love unconditionally. At some point in our lives we all demand some kind of love and want to express our own love for someone. Believe in the principle of giving more and demanding less. When someone asks you for a favor always be ready to give it. Never complain that you don’t have enough or you have other tasks to do. Set your priorities in such a way that everyone else comes first and your own demands come last.

When you love somebody unconditionally you want the best for that person. Think positively about them even if they make mistakes or do not return your feelings. Give them sincere advice about their future and other decisions. Always look around for the betterment of your loved ones without any envy on your part. If you have to sacrifice something of your own for them, don’t hesitate to do so. Only then you will truly be able to love unconditionally.

Remember that unconditional love is given without any expectations or limitations. You don’t define any scope of your love or that how long will you love a person. This is an eternal feeling which should be kept alive in all circumstances and all situations. Never lose hope and keep on loving people who are dear and close to you, only then you will be able to live a completely satisfied and emotionally balanced life.

True Love~

Ask and Love Will Be Given To You. So many times in our lives we ask someone for something. Ever since we were small children we had to ask to get want we thought we wanted, and once we received it (sometimes after considerable begging) we found relief for a few short moments, maybe somewhat longer if we were lucky.

Now, as adults we still ask for what we believe we need and sometimes we get it, and sometimes we do not; reacting according to what we believe a good outcome is for us. We have just found more tactful ways of asking and developed more complex coping strategies for handling the tough times when nothing we ask for seems to come to fruition.

A powerful antidote to this wanting, asking and reacting (all acts of the Ego) is to ask only for what we truly need. Well you say, "I already do that"; well you’re partially correct. The trouble is that you don't know what you really "need" if you did you would only ask for love as a result of your asking or actions. Can you really see the big picture? Love is Peace, And Peace is the result of turning the outcome of events over to the Spirits will. This is the only way to truly receive that which is real and is best for you in the short and long term.

Try the next time you let your mind/ego jump the gun to wanting a certain outcome because it is perceived as good, subjugate that belief and as for peace no matter what the outcome, than you ensure success.

True Love is Your Essence~

A common thing that you will hear people say is that they are looking for love. They do not realize it has already found them. In fact they were never without. Love is the manifestation of the eternal and the infinite. It is waiting to be discovered in each of us. We have in fact been building up heavy layers of ego related energy to cover it up from our experiencing it.

Our collective ego (culture) has created time and time has covered up our true nature. When I refer to time, there is practical time and psychological time. Practical time is used for meeting other people, scheduling appointments, attending shows etc.... Psychological time is when we think about past or future events and experience emotions around those events. This is a very common way that we punish ourselves about what could, would, or should have been or when we will find salvation. This salvation always comes in the form of thoughts about the future and how it will be better than what we are experiencing in the present.

Let me ask you a question. Have you ever ever experienced anything outside the Now? Will you in the future? Time is an illusion. The sooner you are able to free yourself from psychological time, the sooner you will be able to experience your true essence, love. At your core, you are true love. You were born into this world out of "no thing" and you will leave this world back to the same "no thing".

This is the truth, the way.

Watch your mind, stay attentive to your thoughts. See what they are saying but do judge or believe what they are saying. This is your ego, and it will rob you of the only moment you have had or will ever have. This Now moment is the eternal consciousness. It is who you truly are.

Experience True Love By Accessing the Now~

I have recently become quite inspired by the teachings of Deepak Chopra. As he would however quickly point out that the teaching and the taught are actually one, together becoming the teaching.

All you ever have is the now, there has never been nor will ever be an experience of life outside the eternal now. This is where you find Love. In present day society we are consumed by time, rarely if ever experience the present moment free from thinking. The irony is that time is an illusion (the past nor the future only exist in memory traces pointing to a past event or anticipating a future that will only be experienced in the now). Your egotistic mind creates your present "now" by either "comparing" it to the past or anticipating the future. Your present emotions are dictated by the interpretation of those either being "bad or good". This is madness, even though everyone accepts this way of being as "normal".

To experience true love, the key is to drop out of time and focus on the only true point the ever present "now". Your ego/thinking mind will fight you on this, it's survival is dependent on keeping you out of the "now".

There are many techniques such as meditation, yoga, sports, chanting etc.. Mine is prayer) that people utilize to become present but often once they move away from these activities the mind takes over again.

Love is inside you, it is limitless and eternal, it is God. Love and God are synonymous and can only be experienced in the now. The ego and love are opposed to one another, you are either serving love or ego, never both at the same time.

This is a radical shift, especially in western culture. It sounds simple but the actual practice is quite hard but the rewards of eternity and infinity (i.e. a return to God) make the practice worthwhile. God is here, NOW, our ego blinds us to his/here presence inside each of us.

If you are interested in exploring this philosophy further, once again I recommend you read 'The Path To Love' by Deepak Chopra as an introduction. 7 Karmic Laws is also a very inspiring book!

Hahaha Ok I think I’ve said enough for one night, just had to get this off my heart. If you are wondering where this is coming from, let’s just say a very special angel, she told me to write this. Thank you for taking the time to read this, it means so much. By the way, I hope I earn those wings someday!

Please feel free to comment, I will comment back! And remember

LOVE COMES FIRST!

With all my Love and Supernatural. (Yes I believe in the supernatural, but that's another story for another time.)

Ghosts or My Imagination? My Creepy, Halloween Weekend Jog

It's Fall, the trees are slathered with shades of reds, oranges and golden yellow. I was taking my usual jog down Bulloch Blvd. past Sallie's Mimosa Hall home and onto the property of the haunted Bulloch Hall. Bulloch Hall was the home of President Theodore Roosevelt's mother, Mittie. It's said in the back of the house is a well that is haunted by a young girl who fell in, and one can hear her voice now and then. I know I have. Creepy as it sounds it was sort of a pathetic, whispered “Heeelp meeee,” then nothing more. I've always wondered if it was merely the breeze whispering through the trees back there, but I don't think so. I've also seen the black rocking chair on the great front porch begin to rock back and forth as I passed. No, I don't run fast enough to cause a strong breeze to move it. Besides, it sits up from the circular driveway where I jog. At night, in the summer time I've seen the porch light go off and on, with the claims that there is not a timer set to do that. I don't know but that's a little creepy too.

This weekend I jogged on my usual route, past Mimosa Hall and The Dolvin House, also known as Jimmy Carter's summer home. Emily Dolvin was president Carter's aunt. The two houses sit across from one another. At the end of the street I jogged onto the Bulloch property, then around the circular driveway and around Bulloch Hall. But, on my way back I glanced over at The Dolvin House, and saw a movement at the top window. This house is empty, and has been empty for a few years. I do know at night they keep a light on in the back of the house, but there is no caretaker living there. The house is for sale. I stopped jogging, and stood there watching. What ever it was, was still there and seemed to be watching me. I went closer and took out my cell phone. I snapped two pictures and when I looked, the first picture shows what appears to be someone sitting in the window. The second picture it appears there are two--what ever they are--sitting there. Ghosts? I think so. Roswell is known for it's ghosts and spirits in these pre-Civil War Antebellum homes. I've included the pictures below.

      First picture with apparition in the left window - one only

                                       

     Second picture with two apparitions in the left window

So I waved and they didn't wave back; I jogged onward. As I jogged down the street I turned around and did another jog by. They were gone. Whoever or what ever was there had left and the windows were clear and empty. Ooookay.

Another place I jog is by what is known by the town as The Creepy House. Supposedly the town Hangman who did the hangings over at the big, old oak tree in the town square lived there. After each hanging he and his buddies would go back to the house to get drunk and celebrate. It's said there was a young girl buried under the house after she was murdered, though no one has ever been able to find the evidence historically of this, and no one has dared go into the basement and dig around. Though, she's been seen standing by the open door leading under the house, crying. It's said once in a while an old, stern looking woman or an angry looking old man stand at the window and threaten anyone who makes a move to go inside. The place has been for rent for a long time. Previous business owners have had their items strewn around when they open the next morning, even after picking up things, and straitening them out the evening before. The last business renter had a beauty shop. She left screaming out the door when she opened up one morning, and something threw brushes, combs and a hot iron at her. It's been closed since then. I guess rumors abound. I took this picture last Saturday on my jog by the house. The old woman was standing in front of the window. I snapped the picture with my cell phone, she showed me some teeth and lifted her hand in a threatening way. The tree in front of the house is said to contain a spirit that watches over the house and its ghosts. It's said to be an evil tree. I don't know about that, but when I looked at the picture I saw the tree DID have a face. I don't remember seeing that face when I was there. One other thing, as I was ready to leave something pulled my hair. Not hard, but enough to make me jerk my head back a little. When I do jog back by that little house, I'm going to look at that tree again, but I won't stop, I'll just go on by.

     First picture of The Creepy House - apparition of an old woman in top window shaking her fist at me. Mom said it might be the sun's reflection, but trust me it's not.

Second picture of The Creepy House from the front and the evil tree - there's a face on it - apparition is still there but not real noticeable in this picture.
         

 So go figure. Ghosts, or just reflections in these pictures? There was nothing around to reflect these apparitions in the windows. Make your own deductions. I know I've made mine. Happy Halloween.